Just Who Are These Experts Anyway?

Seem like every day you read in the news several stories that include the phrase ” Experts shocked” or “Experts stunned” or “Experts surprised”.

Well my question just who in the hell are these experts and if they are always shocked stunned and surprised, then why are they experts.  I mean if you are always getting it wrong, why do you still have the job?

Lets look at the 2009 track record of some these so-called experts;

First let’s look at the shocked experts:

• Automakers’ Swift Cases in Bankruptcy Shock Experts
• Bush memos on presidential power shock legal experts
• Results Of Presidential Election In Iran Shock Experts
• Experts SHOCKED at surprise last minute debate entry
• fall in GDP confounds the Shock experts
• State and Local Governments Increase Jobs: Even Experts Shocked
• STD rates in teen girls shock experts

And of course the experts are always surprised as well:

• Swine flu: health experts ‘surprised’ by spread of virus
• Aviation experts surprised at Madrid crash
• Experts surprised by magnitude of UI ‘clout’ system
• Industry Experts Surprised at Recent Gambling Figures
• 3 big storms that surprised experts
• Experts Surprised Obama Winning Nobel Peace Prize
• Health Experts Surprised At Rapid Spread of Bird Flu

Lastly the experts are totally stunned too:

• Legal experts stunned by swiftness of Langford verdict
• Loss of Arctic ice leaves experts stunned.
• Humpback whale seen in German seas, experts stunned
• Experts Stunned at Low Quarterly Profits for Arnold’s Pizza Shop
• Experts stunned by proposed CTC ruling
• Experts Stunned – Literacy Of US College Grads Declining
• Experts Stunned that Voters Have a Mind of Their Own

That last one is my personal favorite. I’m no expert, but I’m willing to bet these guys were politicians.

OK so somebody has to say it, “All you experts, You suck at your job“!  I mean really now, you are supposed to be the ace, the artist, the artiste, Mr. Miaygi, the authority, the big dog, the connoisseur, the phenom, the doyen, the graduate, the top banana, the guru, the hot shot, the old hand, the old pro, the phenomenon, the pro, the top gun, the professional, the shark, the virtuoso, the whiz, the general, the wizard, numero uno, the know-it-all, the smart guy, the smart ass, the genius, the specialist, the… well you get my drift.

Let’s face it, You are the Bad News Bears of whatever you do.  I’m sure most of you have some type of government job or a government grant thing.  If you performed like this in the real world, you’d be out on your butt. The only thing worse than the continuous dribble of surprise, stun and shock emanating from your desks daily, is that fact that for some unknown reason, we listen to you at all.  Go sell stupid someplace else.

So tomorrow when you read the news, the blogs, the paper; When you watch TV or listen to the radio; and some expert comes on, just remember this story and the daily track record of “the experts”. You’re smarter than all of them.

Tags: automakers, health experts, humpback whale, legal experts, nobel peace prize, pizza shop, quarterly profits, swine flu